Hi there...this is Chancy...we have a real mystery here, do you think you can solve it?
My mom's brother had quite an adventure yesterday morning.
The mystery toilet guest!
Can you guess what it might be?
It’s Tuesday morning, October 14, 2008, ten till seven. Jan is in the shower and I think I’ll get up.
I walk to the kid’s bathroom in the hallway and go in. I look at where I am going….wait a minute. What’s that? is that something in the…..in the toilet? Well, who did that and didn’t flush. Yeh who? It’s only Jan and me in the house now. Wait….is that….what is it? There’s something in the toilet and, and uh, I need a closer look!
So I turned on the light, inched a little closer to the uncovered bowl…..what the? I see fur….and a tail……IT’S A RAT!! A BIG DAMN RAT!!
I can’t believe it…..all kinds of things are going through my mind….is it alive?…..let me get close again and, uh, take another look…….IT TURNED IT’S HEAD! IT’S GOT TO BE ALIVE IF IT TURNED IT’S HEAD, RIGHT?
NOW WHAT DO I DO?
I better get something…do something! I better first put on some pants. I get my sweats and yank ‘em up, and throw on a polo shirt.
Hurry….I go downstairs, race through the kitchen and into the garage. There has to be something in the garage I can use to kill this thing……wow…KILL THIS THING….do I gotta do that?
I still can’t believe what I am doing as I get into the garage. What can I get…better hurry…a bucket….nah, that’s no good. I know, I’ll get my new tree pruner….that will do it…..and a hoe…yeh, I’ll just take down this hoe …..better get my rubber gloves….OK, get upstairs quickly….wait a minute….a tree trimmer? What the hell am I going to do with this tree trimmer…the pole on this thing is eight feet long….way too long to control…anyway, what am I gonna do, clip off the creatures head?
I put the trimmer next to the back door and get back into the house. I hurried up to the bathroom while slipping on the rubber gloves and trying to carry the hoe. Better look again and see if he’s……..yep, he’s still there….nose under the porcelain rim in the front of the bowl with his tail, his soggy furry tail, almost in the water. Oh my God…this is sooooooo gross!
Ok, I have my rubber gloves on, set. I have the hoe, set.
You big dummy, what are you going to do with a hoe?! One swing and porcelain and water will be scattered all over the floor and you’ll be going solo with a RAT in the bathroom!
Now what the heck am I going to do…must have asked myself that a hundred times, at least.
Hey, I gotta tell Jan. Maybe SHE will know what to do.
...check back tomorrow for the rest of the story!