Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The mystery toilet guest!


Hi there...this is Chancy...we have a real mystery here, do you think you can solve it?

My mom's brother had quite an adventure yesterday morning.

The mystery toilet guest!

Can you guess what it might be?

It’s Tuesday morning, October 14, 2008, ten till seven. Jan is in the shower and I think I’ll get up.

I walk to the kid’s bathroom in the hallway and go in. I look at where I am going….wait a minute. What’s that? is that something in the…..in the toilet? Well, who did that and didn’t flush. Yeh who? It’s only Jan and me in the house now. Wait….is that….what is it? There’s something in the toilet and, and uh, I need a closer look!

So I turned on the light, inched a little closer to the uncovered bowl…..what the? I see fur….and a tail……IT’S A RAT!! A BIG DAMN RAT!!

I can’t believe it…..all kinds of things are going through my mind….is it alive?…..let me get close again and, uh, take another look…….IT TURNED IT’S HEAD! IT’S GOT TO BE ALIVE IF IT TURNED IT’S HEAD, RIGHT?
NOW WHAT DO I DO?

I better get something…do something! I better first put on some pants. I get my sweats and yank ‘em up, and throw on a polo shirt.

Hurry….I go downstairs, race through the kitchen and into the garage. There has to be something in the garage I can use to kill this thing……wow…KILL THIS THING….do I gotta do that?

I still can’t believe what I am doing as I get into the garage. What can I get…better hurry…a bucket….nah, that’s no good. I know, I’ll get my new tree pruner….that will do it…..and a hoe…yeh, I’ll just take down this hoe …..better get my rubber gloves….OK, get upstairs quickly….wait a minute….a tree trimmer? What the hell am I going to do with this tree trimmer…the pole on this thing is eight feet long….way too long to control…anyway, what am I gonna do, clip off the creatures head?

I put the trimmer next to the back door and get back into the house. I hurried up to the bathroom while slipping on the rubber gloves and trying to carry the hoe. Better look again and see if he’s……..yep, he’s still there….nose under the porcelain rim in the front of the bowl with his tail, his soggy furry tail, almost in the water. Oh my God…this is sooooooo gross!

Ok, I have my rubber gloves on, set. I have the hoe, set.

You big dummy, what are you going to do with a hoe?! One swing and porcelain and water will be scattered all over the floor and you’ll be going solo with a RAT in the bathroom!

Now what the heck am I going to do…must have asked myself that a hundred times, at least.

Hey, I gotta tell Jan. Maybe SHE will know what to do.

...check back tomorrow for the rest of the story!


24 comments:

  1. Holy Bast! that is crazy! I think My mommy would have freaked out and run screaming outside after shutting the door to keep me out of the fun.

    Then started calling pest control (that don't use chemicals) beans to get the sucker outside.

    Or, called daddy at work and made him come home and deal with it while she drank wine at the neighbors.

    Me, I'm a great hunter! I'd have taken care of it myself...mmmm, rat...

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  2. Oh my goodness!!! Your Mom is very brave to try to get it!! We will be back tomorrow to here the rest of the story!!!
    Your FL furiends,

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  3. OMDawg! An honest to pete RAT? Yuckster!

    Luf, Us

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  4. Oh no! Don't make us wait til tomorrow to see what happens!

    Wally & Ernie

    pee ess. mom fainted at just the thought of a rat in the toilet!

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  5. Cor! a rat in your toilet? I wish there was a rat in our toilet. It'd save me having to go outside in the rain to catch'em!

    I look forward to the rest of the story.

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  6. EEEEEEEEKKK! What on earth happened next???

    My mum saw a rat the other day, running into a bush near the school she works at. They often have rats under those bushes...

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  7. So, that's like a small Evil Squirrel, right? Want Gandalf to come over? -Grayson

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  8. Oh dear - that's quite an adventure for first thing in the morning! We'd be happy to help out!

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  9. Finding live mousies are one thing, but RATS!!!! Did it climb in the bowl for a drink or did it come up through the bowl?!?

    Hurry and tell us what happened next!

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  10. I am sorry to laugh, but that is a very funny story! I can't wait to find out what happened!

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  11. We are coming back to hear the rest of this story!! We can hardly wait!!

    Mindy, Moe, Bono

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  12. Um, mom read dis to us twice...da first time we was acited but da second time, well, rats don't haf furry tails! What da heck is using da bean litter box as a swimming pool.

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  13. It's a good thing that didn't happen here. Your human appears to be calmer than Jan would be. Plus, she'd have 9 of us competing to squeeze in the small human litterbox room to catch the rat ourselves.

    We can't wait to hear the end of this story. Please post a reminder on the CB tomorrow so we won't miss it.

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  14. Hahahahahahahahah - how FUNNY!!!! You take a towl, throw it over the rat, grab it, and bring it outside. Somewhere where the cats don't see it or they'll just catch it and bring it right back in!
    Then you just let it go.
    Easy!
    I know how to do that because I have seen my staff do it with all kinds of critters. And they NEVER give them to me to play with but always hide them somewhere out of my sight. Darn.

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  15. Mom would freak out!!!!!!
    I would be curious!!!!!!!!!
    Is it BIG?!!!
    I can't wait to hear the end!!
    Purrs Mickey

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  16. Oh my goodness...a king size mousie!! Be careful it does not bite you!!

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  17. I can't wait to see how your Mom handled this whole situation. My mom would have shut the lid and called the neighborhood male beans to come help! Your mom is brave.

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  18. Oah Dear Chancy....
    That is very....
    Scary~~~

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  19. Oh my gosh ... and my Mom thought it was bad when she found a lizard in the bathroom!
    --Jasper

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  20. O, a RAT? Mine Mommie ML probably would haf fainted. Or you could haf heard hers shriek all tha way ta Canady.
    She's wif Mr. Hendrix's Mom, go next door an haf some wine while tha Daddy takes care of tha introoder.
    Can't wait ta find out tomorrow what happened.
    Yours Mommie be a real hero.
    Love & Purrs,
    KC

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  21. Gosh it's so exciting we can't wait to see what happens.

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  22. Oh, yuck, a sewer rat in the toilet! I would have been completely grossed out. I don't have any problem with tame rats, but wild rats give me the chills.

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